A Cursed Encounter
by darkchan
Summary: Inspired by a line in dub, this is what Yami no Matsuei would be like if the meeting between Tsuzuki and Hisoka had happened diffrently... AU


Warnings: If you have any problems with dub bashing, and making fun of the valley girl accent, then this story is NOT for you. I suggest that you not pass go, not collect 200 dollars, and hit the back button IMMEDIATELY. If you can stand dub and valley girl bashing, then I must warn you this is the product of my wonderful twisted mind. Be afraid. Be very afraid.  
  
Disclaimer: I do no own Yami no Matsuei. if I did well there would be a WHOLE lot more of Hisoka throwing himself at Tsuzuki. but yeah. it belongs to the wonderful talented Matsushita Youko and whoever created the anime. Oh and the dialogue comes from the wonderful scanlations that you can find at www.sakura-crisis.com... Though with a few modification on the part of certain characters.  
  
AN: Special thanks once again go to my good friend Reg for beta reading this bizarre story, and for helping me come up with it's title. As always reviews are greatly appreciated, flames are welcome as well. Especially seeing as how it's freezing up here in Massachusetts, and they haven't turned the heat on yet.  
  
A Cursed Encounter  
  
Tsuzuki Asato was currently running around Nagasaki, like a chicken with its head cut off. though how a chicken can run with its head cut off is open to speculation. In any case, the important fact here is that Tsuzuki was darting around like a crazed maniac. The reason? He was currently on a case, and had recently spotted a possible suspect for the Vampire-like murders that had been occurring recently. So naturally, he had felt the need to run after said person. Only he had lost her. about an hour ago-thus the crazed dashing about. In any case, he was currently dead tired and rather perplexed by the odd man he had encountered at the church. Ah well. It probably wasn't important. Seeing as how the suspect was now lost beyond belief, he would just have to rejuvenate himself (hopefully with several pieces of apple pie, and a few cups of sake) and start from square one again. only it wasn't quite square one since he now had a possible suspect. but then again even though he had a suspect, he had no idea where she was... he was thinking too much. Now if there was only a bakery around here somewhere.  
  
He slowed down as he came to a park, looking around one final time for that strange girl. He was just about to go to the cute little place he saw at the other side of the park. but then suddenly he felt something pressed into the small of his back. A gun, he realized with a sudden chill. "Now, like, don't move" said a high, annoying voice, which completely and totally ruined what would otherwise be a chilling moment. Unluckily for Tsuzuki, the voice felt the need to continued "I've, like, so totally found you, Dracula. You were, like, WAY to careless."  
  
Tsuzuki was completely and totally confused by this point. But then again, that wasn't something new for the Shinigami, so he ignored that fact. More important was the fact that he could now see the owner of the voice, a young boy. who was pointing a gun at him. What was WITH the youth of today? . Wait a second, had the kid said 'Dracula'? Why was he being compared with some vampire?? "I think that you probably have the wrong person" Tsuzuki said while slowly backing away.  
  
"I like, so totally told you not to move. Move again, and I'll, like, shoot you dead!" It was clear that this child. youth. teenybopper had a bit of an anger management problem. The teenybopper continued, "Your, like, moment of death has, like, come. There is, like, so totally nothing you can do about it. because you've like killed twelve people".  
  
Tsuzuki was starting to get even more confused (which should have been impossible, seeing as how two paragraphs ago he was already "completely and totally confused"). Although his job called for more 'action' than he would have liked, and he was responsible for many people's deaths, he had not been forced to take a life in Nagasaki for the past ten years. likely back when this boy would have been clinging to his mother, so it was more likely that the kid was referring to the vampire-like murders, which made sense considering he'd been called "Dracula". but then. HE HADN'T KILLED THOES PEOPLE! And if the kid actually shot his gun, people would be a little scared by Tsuzuki's regeneration. Okay then. That ruled out simply ignoring the teenybopper. He couldn't use any of his powers here - that would also scare the general population, and probably make the case more difficult to investigate, which meant he was stuck negotiating with the brat. "Hey, hey! I'm just a normal passerby. What do you mean, 'Dracula'?!"  
  
A twitch had begun to develop by the boy's right eye, which vaguely reminded Tsuzuki of his good friend and coworker, Tatsumi. "Liar! You have, like, so totally been lurking around here, for like a while now. You, like, think I don't know?! And you're, like, really perverted to boot! A grown man, who like, only kills men?! What's, like, the meaning of that?!"  
  
Now Tsuzuki was starting to panic. It would not be good if the people here saw him get shot, and then heal up in about five seconds. Not good at all. Trying to stall, he managed to utter in a fairly normal voice, "Kid, stop playing around with adults".  
  
"Do you, like, WANT, to like try and see? See if I'm, like, bluffing?" The kid seemed to be dead serious. This was going to be a hell of a situation to get out of.  
  
Just as it seemed that the boy was about to shoot him, someone shouted a VERY low "WAIT". It seemed that Gushoshin had come to rescue him, though this was going to be hell to explain to the boy. At least Gushoshin wasn't visible to everybody else. Wait. if Gushoshin wasn't visible how come the boy could hear and see him? Something was definitely strange here. Anyway, Gushoshin was currently pointing at Tsuzuki shouting "What idiotic thing have you done this time!" Instead of the high pitched sound that one would expect to come from a flying chicken, the voice was surprisingly Barry White-like.  
  
Putting on his best "I'm offended that you would think that I'm the one causing the problem here" face, Tsuzuki then proceeded to shout "That's not it, Gushoshin!! He started it! I was attacked!!!"  
  
As soon as the words were out, the boy muttered "Murderer! Like, what are you saying?! Did I, like, ever say I was, like, the killer?!" Portraying the very picture of a disinfected youth at the moment, the valley girl type accent coming forth from his mouth was seriously ruining the youth's image.  
  
"You two are like kids arguing!" Gushoshin yelled. He was seriously pissed for some reason Tsuzuki had yet to figure out. "He's your new partner!"  
  
'Oh Fuck,' Tsuzuki thought. This was most certainly not turning out to be his day. He was given a new case, where he would most likely have to kill someone. He had lost the suspect, so she was running around, and somebody else could die at any moment now. He was held at gunpoint by his new partner. further more, said partner had a valley girl accent that seriously grated on Tsuzuki's nerves.  
  
This was going to be a VERY long few weeks. Ah well. All he had to do was make the boy sick of him, and then he would be back working on his own. surrounded by blessed silence. 


End file.
